It’s another edition of #3NoMoreThan5 in 5, from the wild. And the word of the day is “vibe.” I’ve been visiting with my friend Andrea over the past few days and “vibe” kept coming up. How do we, she and I, vibe? What are the things that cause us to vibe with others? And that prompted me to think, “what are those things for me!?” What are the characteristics, the traits, the elements that attract me to people and perhaps are key components to those that surround me? So in the spirit of #3NoMoreThan5 in 5, I came up with 3. They might change down the road at some point, but for right now in this moment in time, the 3 that popped into my head were:
- Intelligence — I love being around smart people. I don’t mind being the dumbest person in the room because those that are smarter than me or have intelligence about something that I don’t know, they help me grow! They help me learn! They teach me things which I think is amazing! I’m so attracted to smart, intelligent people. That’s a vibe I seek out.
- Generosity — I’m not talking about the people that are going to write me a check. Although if you are giving away money, I’m not going to fight you! Right me a check! I’ll accept it, thank you very much. But what I’m talking about are those that are generous with their time, generous with their advice, generous with their support. These are things that I see as a common factor among my friends, the colleagues that I’ve enjoyed working with, and I’m grateful for that! So thank you to those that have been so generous with me!
- Storytelling — I love being around people who can engage me in a good story. You know me! I can talk to a paper bag and make it talk back to me. So when I’m able to engage with people that tell a story that can transport me to a different place, that can help me see a different perspective, that can show me to think about things in a way that maybe I wouldn’t have thought to do otherwise cause our experiences are different; that ability to draw me into a story is something that attracts me.
People that are smart, people who are generous, people who engage in great storytelling are the vibes that attract me, the vibes that I seek out. And I think these things are important to think about because we don’t have a lot of time. Time is demanded for everything — work, play, school, family, career — And once time is gone, it’s gone for good! That’s not coming back. So to spend time thoughtfully, intentionally identifying what we vibe with, what are the traits and characteristics we seek out in the people we want to surround ourselves with, I think that’s time well spent! And it’s those intentional decisions and being around those people that you vibe with that can offer the support, that can feed your soul, and help you learn and help you grow. All of those thing, I think, make you a well rounded person, help achieve the levels of career growth and success that you’re seeking, and like I said; they feed your soul!
So what’s it for you? What do you vibe with? What are the characteristics of your vibe tribe? I’d love to hear about it! So think on that and share.
Until next time, cheers!
Margeaux Gupilan-Hernandez
This piece resonated with me much more than I thought it would. I started self evaluating and thinking about what my vibe is. Then all of a sudden, so very quickly I started realizing how many people/relationships/friendships I’ve lost because of my vibe. I think my vibe for the most part has stayed the same but it has enhanced and evolved little by little depending on where I am in my life. For example, I’m huge on 1) intelligence-I want to learn about things I’m unfamiliar with. I want to be excited by new information. But if this new information is about tiktok and celebrity gossip you’ve lost my interest. It was fun to learn and talk about those topics maybe when I was in high school but now in my 30s I no longer am intrigued. That’s the evolving part of my vibe. It grows with me so when some relationships/friendships continued to bring those topics to the table our relationship/ friendship fizzled out.
2) Reciprocation – I treat others how I would like to be treated. With thoughtfulness, respect, kindness, generosity, loyalty, equality, fairness and love.
3) Adjustability / adaptability- I’ll definitely vibe with someone who can read the room and switch their mood / plans in a drop of a hat. If something doesn’t go as planned we can pivot and still have a good time. Someone who is open to change on the fly. Instead of being upset something didn’t go as planned and running the entire event let’s just be optimistic and excited about change.
Listening to this piece I also realized that I might have tried changing my vibe to keep relationships/friendships alive. I don’t do that any more, I’m just saying back then I didn’t know I was doing it.
My best friend of 10+ years and I had a falling out. My vibe was evolving and I out grew her. Sounds harsh, but I also wasn’t feeding her vibe so it was a 2 way street.
mbarizo
Three words: good for you!
Knowing who you are…what’s important to you…what you’re willing to do or reject is an important component of building your personal #leadershiprecipe. Self awareness allows you to shape the guardrails for your team and others around how you work best and what you need to elevate those around you.
Outgrowing roles, spaces, and – yes – people are all part of your journey. I say: embrace it! In my opinion it is absolutely ok to determine what works for you and to make a decision to move on if people/situations aren’t helping you move forward. Learn from what those situations and people taught you, and use it to make you better.
Thank you for sharing and being part of the conversation – would love to hear more!